Even Veterinarians Struggle: Saying Goodbye to Boxsie

As veterinarians, we often guide families through one of the hardest decisions they’ll ever make — knowing when it’s time to say goodbye to a beloved pet. People sometimes imagine we have all the answers, that the decision is easier for us because of our training. But the truth is, when it’s our pet, the decision is just as painful and just as complicated.

Last week, I said goodbye to my almost 19-year-old cat, Boxsie. He was a quirky, lovable guy with deformed front legs who had been part of our family for nearly two decades. Right up until the end, he was still eating, still asking for treats, and still enjoying his brushings.

But living with him day to day, I could see what was harder to admit: his body was failing. He could no longer groom himself. He couldn’t reliably get into his litter box, even when we modified it. And though he still had bright moments, his overall quality of life wasn’t what it should be.

Making the decision to let him go was incredibly difficult, and my family and I struggled with it — just as so many families I’ve worked with have struggled when faced with the same choice. In the end, we let Boxsie go at home, surrounded by love, on a day when he still felt like himself. And though our hearts are heavy, there is also peace in knowing we gave him dignity and prevented an emergency crisis later on.

If there’s one thing I hope you take away, it’s that struggling with this decision is normal. Loving our pets deeply is what makes saying goodbye so hard. But when their quality of life is no longer good — even if they’re still eating or wagging their tail — letting them go peacefully can be one of the greatest gifts we give.